


Don't

by brahe



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bones is Annoyed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Sacrificing Jim, away mission gone wrong leads to yelling, bones just wants jim to be safe, it's shorter than i thought, jim's crew is his family, mentions of Tarsus IV, oh well, sort of, spoilers for star trek: into darkness, the plot sucks i just needed an excuse to write jim and bones emotionally shouting at each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:08:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2150187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's only so much Bones can take.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't

**Author's Note:**

> So this is probably the greatest mckirk I've ever written, which is kind of sad because this one isn't all that great but whatever (but hey, I got my friend to ship them with this fic so idk, maybe it's sort of good). I like the yelling. Emotions yayyyy. Let's ignore my lack of creative and decent plot in the name of yelling-to-kissing.
> 
> Also, this mentions my headcanon that Jim and Sam were together on Tarsus IV and that Sam died. So there's that.

Sometimes, Jim was too good of a person to be a captain. He cared too much, was willing to risk too much for just one single member of his crew. It was a trait that got him where he was now, but was likely to get him killed. Bones was not going to stand around and wait for that day. 

"How difficult would it be do send someone down?" the Captain asked, looking from the screen to Scotty. Bones' head snapped up. 

"I'm not so sure that'd be a good idea, cap'n," the engineering officer replied hesitantly. The senior crew knee _very_ well the lengths at which their captain would go to keep his crew safe. 

"If we could get someone down there with the right-" Jim started, and Bones could see the plan solidifying with the beginnings of unwavering resolve start to form on his face. _Not again_. 

"No." A single word never sounded so heavy. Jim whirled around to face him. 

"What'd'ya mean, no?" Jim asked, snark creeping its way into his voice. 

"I mean exactly what you think I do."

"That's not an option, Bones," Jim told him. Damn that kid and his stupid need to _protect._

"The hell it's not. You are the _captain_ , Jim. This ship can't go on without you, you imbecile."

"Yes, it can, it has, and it will if it needs to." The captain turned back to the screen and Bones was pretty sure there was smoke spiraling from his ears. 

"Now you listen to me..." the CMO started, grabbing Jim's arm and spinning him around.

"No, Bones, _you_ listen. My crew, my _family_ is going to die down there if I don't do something about it. I have the perfect opportunity to save them, and there's no way in hell I'm not taking it. They're just kids, Bones, full of hope and wonder, and I can't let them die. I'd rather it'd be-"

"Don't." Bones cut him off with, again, a single word. In only one syllable, he managed to sound old and weary, and at the same time young and innocent. The crew members standing withing hearing distance decided unanimously not to comment on the doctor's voice crack. "Don't you-don't you even _dare_. You are every bit the kid they are, Jim. For God's sake you're only four years older than they are! I understand this crew is important to you. Do you think I don't? And after all, it's not your table they die on. But don't you _dare_ come at me saying it's better you then them." Everyone on the bridge was stunned to silence. Except, of course, Jim. 

"I'm just stating the truth! I'm nothing special, just some messed up kid with daddy issues and a complex to rival Napeleon. Those kids feel like _my_ kids."

"Dammit Jim, this isn't about that! This is about **_your life_** that you're ready to just...throw away!"

"It was never about _my life_! It was only ever about getting everyone home safe."

"And what about you, huh? What happens when you don't come home? What happens to us, what happens to me?" The last bit slipped out before the doctor could stop it, but it was too late for holding back anyway. "Do you have any idea what it's like to open a body bag and find _you_ inside? You have _no_ idea what it felt like to see your _dead_ body on my table. To be given undeniable proof of my greatest fear, to be unable to do anything but _grieve_. You have **no right** to talk to me about coming home safe." They hadn't said anything about Jim's death. It was just something they never talked about. Now, though, all the cards were on the table.

"You wanna turn this into coming home safe? There is no feeling stronger than the anger and grief that comes with seeing your brother's corpse laid out in a ditch. He wasn't home on time, so I went out to look for him and found his body among _thousands_ of others. Don't talk to me about coming home safe." If Bones wasn't so angry, he'd have the mind to be stunned.

"So that's what this is about! This is about protecting them like you couldn't protect your brother, about making sure none of them have to go through what you did. Newsflash, Jim, **the world doesn't work that way!** "

"I'm going on that mission," Jim said, his voice cold. Bones didn't miss the way his eyes were misty, though. 

"The hell you are," Bones returned, his voice just as icy. "I will **_not_** have you returned to me inside of a body bag. I will **_not_** see you as a shell of a man. It was more than enough to have to look at you once without the spark of life. I refuse to do it again." 

Jim opened his mouth as if to speak again, but a cackling sound accompanied by a young voice started before he could. "Away team to Enterprise, away team to Enterprise. We've figured out a way to get back!" one of the ensigns exclaimed. There was a shuffling noise before a different voice rang out across the otherwise silent bridge.

"All we need is one of those miniature transporter pads," the girl told them. "If you beam it to our current coordinates now, we'll be back in no time." 

"Coming right up!" Scotty replied, a thankful smile on his face. At that, the Enterprise crew burst into motion, talking with the small away team and preparing the materials to be beamed down to them. They studiously ignored their captain and chief medical officer, who were both standing frozen where they were. 

Bones blinked rapidly as the words of their argument sunk in. _The only time there were thousands of dead bodies_...he thought, his brain supplying for him the answer he didn't want. _Tarsus IV_. 

Similar thoughts ran through Jim's head, those these were centered around a single phrase the doctor shouted at him. _"To be given undeniable proof of my greatest fear..."_ His mind raced, piecing together the words said with the words left unsaid.

Coming to a conclusion, sparkling blue eyes met whiskey brown ones. The two stared at each other for a moment, and Jim noticed a second too late as Bones' fist connected with his jaw. Before he had the chance to even respond to the punch, rough hands were grabbing at the front of his shirt and suddenly there were crushing lips on his, kissing hard enough to bruise. 

"Don't you get it?" Bones asked once they parted for air. "You mean more to me than any of this, than all of this, and I'm not letting you go without a fight. Once is enough for me." 

And because Jim had never been good with words when they actually mattered, he answered with a kiss.

 


End file.
